Tag Archives: spam

Impressively vague bot

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

Most of the spam I have gotten of late (over twice as much as I used to get) has been mind-numbingly boring. This one, however, impressed me with its level of vagueness and not-saying-anythingness. Behold:

Vague Bot: Most of whatever you mention happens to be astonishingly appropriate and it makes me wonder why I hadn’t looked at this with this light before. This piece really did turn the light on for me as far as this particular subject matter goes. Nevertheless there is actually just one issue I am not really too cozy with so while I try to reconcile that with the core theme of the point, let me observe just what the rest of the readers have to point out.Well done.

Try as I might, I will never achieve such perfect vagueness in so many words!


Victorian Bot?

I hate to do two bot-posts in a row, but I couldn’t just delete this one without sharing. It was posted on Ironic Bots.

Victorian Bot: What i do not realize is in truth how you’re no longer actually much more well-favored than you might be right now. You are very intelligent. You know thus considerably relating to this matter, made me individually consider it from a lot of numerous angles. Its like men and women are not fascinated until it is something to do with Girl gaga! Your personal stuffs great. Always care for it up!

I know, thus considerably relating to this matter of numerous angles of men and women not being fascinated by anything but Girl gaga. 

I love this bot’s  vague attempts to use slightly archaic language.  I anxiously await the advent of Shakespeare Bot, Chaucer Bot, and Beowulf Bot.


The Bots of Insanity!

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

After a dry spell, I have been targeted by three very interesting bots at once.

Successful Bot: I definitely wanted to construct a small comment in order to express gratitude to you for all of the amazing at this website.

Apart from the 5 subsequent advertizing links which follow your comment, you have indeed constructed a small comment! I think I may have to incorporate “the amazing” into my repertoire of appreciation.

Random Bot: I like what you guys are up also. Such intelligent work and reporting! Carry on the superb works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my web site :). “Royalty has always been an unconscious but all-consuming goal of the European immigrant.” by Vine Deloria, Jr..

You have successfully convinced me that you are a legitimate commenter because your random quote has so much to do with the beautiful photograph of Grotto Falls on which you commented… as if your vagueness and your insistence that I am more than one person are not enough to inspire complete confidence.

Obvious Bot: ZM52x7 Once adsl over isdn blocked initial monarc buterfly fase barbarian world bupropion bells restraints diet syrup disappeared sweating reglan withdrawal agitation slumped ill choosing.

Set down the mangled thesaurus and step away with your hands up!


Where is my toolbox…

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

Not Funny bot: “This is a comment to the webmaster. I came to your “Requiescat in Pace jubilare” page via Google but it was difficult to find as you were not on the first page of search results. I see you could have more traffic because there are not many comments on your website yet. I have found a website which offers to dramatically increase your rankings and traffic to your site.”

::A heavy CLUNK resounds, followed by sounds of rummaging::

Dear bot.  I usually find the antics of your kind amusing. But not today.

I realize that your tiny electronic brain cannot comprehend such things as “tasteless” ::rumage:: or “insensitive”, but I am in no state to be patient.

It occurs to me ::rumage:: that I could use some more wires and circuit-boards for my artwork.

In the spirit of sportsmanship, I give you fair warning.

::picks up a dremel tool and loads a bit::

If you come here again, I will be waiting with my fence-cutter, pliers, and diamond-dremels. Your wires would make a very pretty mask, I am sure.


Dishonorable Bot and Friends

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

It’s time, yet again, for spam-bot question and answer. So, Bot number 1, you commented on Mountain Song, yes? What do you have to say for yourself today?

Dishonorable Bot:  While there are many ways to be unfaithful in [edit], including naturally abusing bugs as well as exploits ingame, using hacks may be the easiest method for most players. All of us work hard each week, constantly modifying code and dealing around update patches, to be able to bring you the highest quality [edit] hackers available.

I see. Well, your grammar is relatively coherent! Congratulations! The next time I need to hack the Smoky Mountains, I… wait. What? 

Nevermind. Bot two, you and bot three commented on Ominous Endings, I see. What did you think of it?

Helpful Bot: I must say, as a lot as I enjoyed reading what you had to say, I couldnt assist but shed interest after a even though. Its as if you had a wonderful grasp on the subject matter.

Well, I am glad it is as if I have a wonderful grasp of my own opinions. That is encouraging. I appreciate your assistance in, um… shed interest… is that a stock-venture?

Bot 3? Are you friends with bot 2? or did you just happen to comment on the same post?

Incoherent Bot: Average In turn sends provides will be the frequent systems that offer the opportunity for one’s how does a person pick-up biological, overdue drivers, what one mechanically increases the business. Search Engine Marketing

Ah. Now where did I put my biological overdue drivers what I mechanically increase the business?

Onwards. Bot four, you commented on Cue Music, I believe. What did you think of it?

Encouraging Bot: You can certainly see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. Always follow your heart.

I see. Your specificity and thoughtful critique really convince me that you are a real person, and I am going to click on your commercial website! Perhaps you are selling hopeful arenas, which sound disturbing if you ask me.

Bot five! I see you posted on Motley Crew. What have you to say?

Critical Bot: naturally like your website however you have to take a look at the spelling on several of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it very troublesome to tell the truth then again I will certainly come again again.

Can’t… reply… laughing too hard!


Critical bot and friends

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

I have gotten a few more “interesting” spam posts lately. I decided it was time to share.

“Its like you learn my thoughts! You seem to know so much about this, such as you wrote the e book in it or something. I believe that you simply can do with a few percent to pressure the message house a bit, however other than that, this is wonderful blog. A great read. I’ll definitely be back.”

Um… thank you for this “constructive” criticism, Critical Bot. Now if I can just figure out what “a few percent to pressure the message house” means. 

“Hey very cool website!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Wonderful .. I will bookmark your site and take the feeds additionally?I am satisfied to find so many useful information right here in the publish, we want develop more strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .”

Dear Confused, Hungry Bot. I am not a guy and I have no intention of feeding spam-bots.

“Outstanding post, I conceive individuals ought to larn a great deal from this web website its truly user genial . 744494”

“Larn?” I’ll larn you to mock my heritage, Mockingbot! Now where’s my scimitar got to…

P.S.
I just got this on my post “Shout Out”

“Another great website about this stuff you can find over here sexdate!!! Let me know what you think about this blog and i’ll subscribe to your blog!”

Um… bot, I think you were reading someone else’s post and got very, VERY confused. As a side note, subscriptions to my blog are not as important to me as you seem to think…


Insensitive Bots!

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

Both of these spam-messages were posted on “Tabasco.” On one hand, I find them funny. On the other hand, INSENSITIVE BOTS! Either way, I thought I would share, as I am often amused by the spam-bot posts my friend David puts on his blog.

Insensitive Bot #1: “Thank you for writing this tremendous top quality post. The details in this material confirms my point of view and you truly laid it out nicely. I could never have written an post this very good.”
-Bot #1  has a point of view about my cat’s death. That’s great, Bot #1, but this is hardly a contentious issue.  I appreciate your use of “Tremendous,” as it is an oft-neglected word, and your grammar is slightly less atrocious than most other spams…

Insensitive Bot #2:  :“Attractive section of content material. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I acquire truly enjoyed account your weblog posts. Anyway I will likely be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently swiftly. “
-Erm… Bot #2 also seems to think that I am arguing a point here. For the rest, the level of web-translator-use fail is classic.

These are by no means the only humorous spam I have received, but the rest aren’t really insensitive bots. Both of these were posted on “Crocus.”

Random Bot #1:  “after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter’s first word is “#$%&!”
-I edited out the expletive. This one is at least readable, but what does it have to do with planting crocus?

Warning, the next one is a doozy… I suggest picking out a paragraph, as reading the whole thing makes my eyes cross.

Random Bot #2:  “When you’ve got long been clinically determined to have high cholesterol or simply plan to have superior caution to your well being to stop health and wellness difficulties, a sample cheap cholesterol diet regime tends to make a major impact. Cholesterol is often a chemical of the body’s not to mention, during the right amount, can be described as very important section of some of our techniques. Cholesterol is really important to help every single phone, yet a negative eating plan can certainly results in your body to produce way too much cholesterol which usually can cause critical medical conditions in addition to passing away.

Increased degree cholesterol is certainly harmful as it triggers a bigger opportunity of coronary disease plus shots. Gurus that a diet regime can certainly immensely lessen cholesterol stages and will have the incorporated benefit of strengthening your current overall health. A whole lot of medical conditions can be associated with negative diet plan. Higher blood stream force, the disgestive system conditions in addition to overweight are actually just a few of the problems that is increased by using a proper diet. By way of changing what you partake of in lessening cholesterol furthermore you will end up being bettering your health during the course of the areas.

At a couple of events, family genes may well play a role around producing high cholesterol. Having said that, generally speaking diet plan not to mention a reduction in pastime are the trigger. Quite possibly the most probable result in can be the intake of numerous soaked fats. Regardless of whether the main cause of ones huge cholesterol might be hereditary it may possibly definitely be made it easier for by means of fixing your food intake.

Soaked excess fat is found in processed foods, cakes, green food, ova in addition to milk, therefore you will have to solve your take in in these kind of food items.

The following is a good example of a sample reduced cholesterol healthy eating plan.

Morning meal

Wholemeal cereal having almond use. : Unsweetened cereals elevated in bran and whole grain are especially fine. Avert sweet regarding cereals. It is important to make use of non-dairy whole milk in order to reduce cholesterol for example almond use and / or rice exploit.

Restore a cup of coffee by means of fruit juice – This will likely add further vitamins and minerals to all your eating habits and help decrease your continue demands. Smoothies are usually exceptional as they simply have more dietary fibre compared with juice. If possible unique blend the towards not spend as much but often times there are excellent hold moved products. Ensure that any specific fruit juice you acquire is actually fresh beverages not the liquid beverage that may be largely flavor the water. They are generally packaged particularly moreover. You need to be conscientious to be able to overdo profits and also juices as they quite simply incorporate a lot of fructose, a kind of sweetener which induces the bodies cells to liberate insulin and even, really, will cause cholesterol to rise. some Slices connected with whole grain toast : Begin using a good pass on consider the one which is normally especially manufactured to reduced cholesterol. Benecol is an excellent illustration.

Noon-time meal

A vegetable established soup, functioned by using whole fiber bakery.
Rooster greens sandwich by using wholesome loaf of bread.
Help by means of a few pieces of super fruit for example strawberries, cherries and also kiwi.

Evening meal

Smoked slimy perch served having vegetables and boiled oranges. – Greasy perch incorporates Omega 3 in which actively pieces cholesterol by the body processes. This unique produces fishes, along the lines of mackerel, a great food to include in poor cholesterol healthy eating plan.

Throughout the day it will be fantastic in order to take a lot of normal water as well as green tea leaf which have been pretty decent for your overall health. In case you are famished, choose snack foods for instance walnuts, pistachio nuts, pumpkin and sunflower seed. A good quality instruction should be to consider numerous diverse colorings of fruits and vegetables as they possibly can.

When you utilize these tips for a single day taste minimal cholesterol food plan with your on a daily basis eating habits you will subsequently really benefit from a noticable difference into your cholesterol levels together with bloodstream anxiety. That should significantly eliminate probability from significant health issues. Additionally, it is best if you teach some lumination activity to your existence, it’s best to check with a medical professional on the quality of exercise that is definitely befitting anyone because it depends on that seriousness of your respective predicament.”

-So much material there, Random Bot #2. I don’t even know where to start. I think that, under the massive translation fail, your advice is mostly good, though I wonder how it relates to planting crocus. “At a couple of events, family genes may well play a role around producing high cholesterol. ” This sounds like some sort of merry-go-round or role-playing game at a very unusual family reunion. Maybe a spinning family therapy session? I have no intention of eating a “Rooster greens sandwich” or a “slimy perch,” smoked or not.  “Additionally, it is best if you teach some lumination activity to your existence,” because my existence needs to be taught, by me, to glow. I wonder if there are classes on how to teach your own existence.

That’s all the insensitive and random bots worth sharing so far. I hope you found them as entertaining as I have.


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