Tag Archives: humor

Five things

My delightfully contentious blogging friend, Sharon, recently posted 5 things that she had run across recently that she wanted to discuss with people: 5 things  that I’d like to talk about.  Shaking people up and making them think is an excellent action and very necessary to the growth and health of individuals and society. It’s hard work, thinking, and sometimes we have to have a fire lit under our toes to make us do it.

However, Sharon and I see eye-to-eye on a lot of topics from the love of God to issues of feminism (yes, I am a feminist. I promise it’s not a bad word if you understand what it means. Ask me!). I’m pretty sure she and I would come down on the same side of any of those discussions, and some of them involve listening to people or reading things that would only make me angry. Given what I said above, about thinking, I should probably put forth the effort.

The truth is, I am weary, physically and mentally. I feel a little guilty, that little voice in my head is calling me “coward,” but this time I am giving myself leeway. 2013 was a bit of a marathon for me. I need to recoup. I’ve barely been here for the month of December, and my friends on e-mail probably wonder if I have fallen into a sinkhole.

So, somewhat selfishly, I asked Sharon to share something different.

I feel that the best response to her kindness would be to post five things that have made me feel better over the past few weeks.

Wolverine the Musical

Ok, so, yes, I discovered this a while ago, but I still return to it when I need a good laugh. Glove and Boots!

Origami Masks by Joel Cooper

Mask inspired by ancient statuary, shaped from folded paper.  All I really have to say to this is ‘holy raving Jabberwoky.’ I love making masks, but artistry like this is beyond me. I love it!

http://mynewspress.com/new-tessellated-origami-masks-by-joel-cooper/

The American Chestnut

I am a plant-nerd, so I care about such things. Feel free to roll your eyes at me and move on.

In the early 1900’s, a blight from Asia was accidentally introduced to the U.S.A. Over the next 30 or so years, it all but obliterated what was then one of the dominant trees of our Eastern forests, the American Chestnut. I won’t bore you with details, but the result was catastrophic to humans and wildlife alike.

In 1983, the American Chestnut Society was formed. Since then they have worked with the few remaining American Chestnuts and the blight-resistant Chinese Chestnut, attempting to breed an American Chestnut tree that can survive the blight. Recent progress has opened the possibility of my seeing American Chestnuts growing in our woods in my lifetime.

In a world where many of my favorite native plants and animals are under serious threat, where exotic-invasives, pollution, and thoughtless development present seemingly insurmountable obstacles to my local ecosystems, the prospect of an actual victory is like a lantern in a cave. It makes me so happy I could cry.

Stranger in a Strange Land: Ender’s Game, its controversial author, and a very personal history, by Rany Jazayerli

This article is somewhat controversial, and very long, but thoughtful and worth the read. I discovered it through my brother and it made me think, but in an encouraging way, and I will tell you why.

There are a lot of issues wrapped up in this. How people change over time, how it is not wise to condemn everything a person says or has ever said because part of it goes against your own views or beliefs, that the most important part of anything said or written may lie in the interpretation rather than the intent, and that people are flawed. Jumping on the rage-button really is counter-productive. It circumvents thought.

But what I found encouraging is something of a rabbit-trail.  I am flawed. Yes, I know, everyone is, but I live with my flaws daily and sometimes they loom very large in my vision. This article reminded me of something that is, I think, important for writers to remember:

I and my work are two different things.

Maybe my flaws will manifest in my work. That does happen. Hopefully my strengths will,  too. But maybe, God willing, people who read my work will find things there, hopefully good things, that transcend me, my flaws, and even my strengths. Writing depends on the reading. There’s cause for fear. Fear of being misunderstood runs deep in me. But not all misunderstanding is bad, I guess. There is encouragement in that thought. ‘

 

Finally, I give you the singing light:

Sometimes we just get lucky and catch the light. I wish I had a better copy of this picture on hand. I may try and update it later.

Singing light


Insensitive Bots!

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

Both of these spam-messages were posted on “Tabasco.” On one hand, I find them funny. On the other hand, INSENSITIVE BOTS! Either way, I thought I would share, as I am often amused by the spam-bot posts my friend David puts on his blog.

Insensitive Bot #1: “Thank you for writing this tremendous top quality post. The details in this material confirms my point of view and you truly laid it out nicely. I could never have written an post this very good.”
-Bot #1  has a point of view about my cat’s death. That’s great, Bot #1, but this is hardly a contentious issue.  I appreciate your use of “Tremendous,” as it is an oft-neglected word, and your grammar is slightly less atrocious than most other spams…

Insensitive Bot #2:  :“Attractive section of content material. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I acquire truly enjoyed account your weblog posts. Anyway I will likely be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently swiftly. “
-Erm… Bot #2 also seems to think that I am arguing a point here. For the rest, the level of web-translator-use fail is classic.

These are by no means the only humorous spam I have received, but the rest aren’t really insensitive bots. Both of these were posted on “Crocus.”

Random Bot #1:  “after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter’s first word is “#$%&!”
-I edited out the expletive. This one is at least readable, but what does it have to do with planting crocus?

Warning, the next one is a doozy… I suggest picking out a paragraph, as reading the whole thing makes my eyes cross.

Random Bot #2:  “When you’ve got long been clinically determined to have high cholesterol or simply plan to have superior caution to your well being to stop health and wellness difficulties, a sample cheap cholesterol diet regime tends to make a major impact. Cholesterol is often a chemical of the body’s not to mention, during the right amount, can be described as very important section of some of our techniques. Cholesterol is really important to help every single phone, yet a negative eating plan can certainly results in your body to produce way too much cholesterol which usually can cause critical medical conditions in addition to passing away.

Increased degree cholesterol is certainly harmful as it triggers a bigger opportunity of coronary disease plus shots. Gurus that a diet regime can certainly immensely lessen cholesterol stages and will have the incorporated benefit of strengthening your current overall health. A whole lot of medical conditions can be associated with negative diet plan. Higher blood stream force, the disgestive system conditions in addition to overweight are actually just a few of the problems that is increased by using a proper diet. By way of changing what you partake of in lessening cholesterol furthermore you will end up being bettering your health during the course of the areas.

At a couple of events, family genes may well play a role around producing high cholesterol. Having said that, generally speaking diet plan not to mention a reduction in pastime are the trigger. Quite possibly the most probable result in can be the intake of numerous soaked fats. Regardless of whether the main cause of ones huge cholesterol might be hereditary it may possibly definitely be made it easier for by means of fixing your food intake.

Soaked excess fat is found in processed foods, cakes, green food, ova in addition to milk, therefore you will have to solve your take in in these kind of food items.

The following is a good example of a sample reduced cholesterol healthy eating plan.

Morning meal

Wholemeal cereal having almond use. : Unsweetened cereals elevated in bran and whole grain are especially fine. Avert sweet regarding cereals. It is important to make use of non-dairy whole milk in order to reduce cholesterol for example almond use and / or rice exploit.

Restore a cup of coffee by means of fruit juice – This will likely add further vitamins and minerals to all your eating habits and help decrease your continue demands. Smoothies are usually exceptional as they simply have more dietary fibre compared with juice. If possible unique blend the towards not spend as much but often times there are excellent hold moved products. Ensure that any specific fruit juice you acquire is actually fresh beverages not the liquid beverage that may be largely flavor the water. They are generally packaged particularly moreover. You need to be conscientious to be able to overdo profits and also juices as they quite simply incorporate a lot of fructose, a kind of sweetener which induces the bodies cells to liberate insulin and even, really, will cause cholesterol to rise. some Slices connected with whole grain toast : Begin using a good pass on consider the one which is normally especially manufactured to reduced cholesterol. Benecol is an excellent illustration.

Noon-time meal

A vegetable established soup, functioned by using whole fiber bakery.
Rooster greens sandwich by using wholesome loaf of bread.
Help by means of a few pieces of super fruit for example strawberries, cherries and also kiwi.

Evening meal

Smoked slimy perch served having vegetables and boiled oranges. – Greasy perch incorporates Omega 3 in which actively pieces cholesterol by the body processes. This unique produces fishes, along the lines of mackerel, a great food to include in poor cholesterol healthy eating plan.

Throughout the day it will be fantastic in order to take a lot of normal water as well as green tea leaf which have been pretty decent for your overall health. In case you are famished, choose snack foods for instance walnuts, pistachio nuts, pumpkin and sunflower seed. A good quality instruction should be to consider numerous diverse colorings of fruits and vegetables as they possibly can.

When you utilize these tips for a single day taste minimal cholesterol food plan with your on a daily basis eating habits you will subsequently really benefit from a noticable difference into your cholesterol levels together with bloodstream anxiety. That should significantly eliminate probability from significant health issues. Additionally, it is best if you teach some lumination activity to your existence, it’s best to check with a medical professional on the quality of exercise that is definitely befitting anyone because it depends on that seriousness of your respective predicament.”

-So much material there, Random Bot #2. I don’t even know where to start. I think that, under the massive translation fail, your advice is mostly good, though I wonder how it relates to planting crocus. “At a couple of events, family genes may well play a role around producing high cholesterol. ” This sounds like some sort of merry-go-round or role-playing game at a very unusual family reunion. Maybe a spinning family therapy session? I have no intention of eating a “Rooster greens sandwich” or a “slimy perch,” smoked or not.  “Additionally, it is best if you teach some lumination activity to your existence,” because my existence needs to be taught, by me, to glow. I wonder if there are classes on how to teach your own existence.

That’s all the insensitive and random bots worth sharing so far. I hope you found them as entertaining as I have.


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