Tag Archives: bots

Impressively vague bot

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

Most of the spam I have gotten of late (over twice as much as I used to get) has been mind-numbingly boring. This one, however, impressed me with its level of vagueness and not-saying-anythingness. Behold:

Vague Bot: Most of whatever you mention happens to be astonishingly appropriate and it makes me wonder why I hadn’t looked at this with this light before. This piece really did turn the light on for me as far as this particular subject matter goes. Nevertheless there is actually just one issue I am not really too cozy with so while I try to reconcile that with the core theme of the point, let me observe just what the rest of the readers have to point out.Well done.

Try as I might, I will never achieve such perfect vagueness in so many words!

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Victorian Bot?

I hate to do two bot-posts in a row, but I couldn’t just delete this one without sharing. It was posted on Ironic Bots.

Victorian Bot: What i do not realize is in truth how you’re no longer actually much more well-favored than you might be right now. You are very intelligent. You know thus considerably relating to this matter, made me individually consider it from a lot of numerous angles. Its like men and women are not fascinated until it is something to do with Girl gaga! Your personal stuffs great. Always care for it up!

I know, thus considerably relating to this matter of numerous angles of men and women not being fascinated by anything but Girl gaga. 

I love this bot’s  vague attempts to use slightly archaic language.  I anxiously await the advent of Shakespeare Bot, Chaucer Bot, and Beowulf Bot.


Ironic Bots

The irony of the following bots are that they posted on “Suggestions, please.” I will allow the irony to flower without further comment.

Ironic Bot #1: Woah this weblog is excellent i love studying your posts. Keep up the great work! You understand, many individuals are searching round for this info, you can aid them greatly.

Ironic Bot #2: Someone necessarily lend a hand to make significantly articles I’d state. This is the very first time I frequented your web page and so far? I surprised with the research you made to create this particular publish incredible. Excellent process!


The Bots of Insanity!

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

After a dry spell, I have been targeted by three very interesting bots at once.

Successful Bot: I definitely wanted to construct a small comment in order to express gratitude to you for all of the amazing at this website.

Apart from the 5 subsequent advertizing links which follow your comment, you have indeed constructed a small comment! I think I may have to incorporate “the amazing” into my repertoire of appreciation.

Random Bot: I like what you guys are up also. Such intelligent work and reporting! Carry on the superb works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my web site :). “Royalty has always been an unconscious but all-consuming goal of the European immigrant.” by Vine Deloria, Jr..

You have successfully convinced me that you are a legitimate commenter because your random quote has so much to do with the beautiful photograph of Grotto Falls on which you commented… as if your vagueness and your insistence that I am more than one person are not enough to inspire complete confidence.

Obvious Bot: ZM52x7 Once adsl over isdn blocked initial monarc buterfly fase barbarian world bupropion bells restraints diet syrup disappeared sweating reglan withdrawal agitation slumped ill choosing.

Set down the mangled thesaurus and step away with your hands up!


Where is my toolbox…

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

Not Funny bot: “This is a comment to the webmaster. I came to your “Requiescat in Pace jubilare” page via Google but it was difficult to find as you were not on the first page of search results. I see you could have more traffic because there are not many comments on your website yet. I have found a website which offers to dramatically increase your rankings and traffic to your site.”

::A heavy CLUNK resounds, followed by sounds of rummaging::

Dear bot.  I usually find the antics of your kind amusing. But not today.

I realize that your tiny electronic brain cannot comprehend such things as “tasteless” ::rumage:: or “insensitive”, but I am in no state to be patient.

It occurs to me ::rumage:: that I could use some more wires and circuit-boards for my artwork.

In the spirit of sportsmanship, I give you fair warning.

::picks up a dremel tool and loads a bit::

If you come here again, I will be waiting with my fence-cutter, pliers, and diamond-dremels. Your wires would make a very pretty mask, I am sure.


Dishonorable Bot and Friends

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

It’s time, yet again, for spam-bot question and answer. So, Bot number 1, you commented on Mountain Song, yes? What do you have to say for yourself today?

Dishonorable Bot:  While there are many ways to be unfaithful in [edit], including naturally abusing bugs as well as exploits ingame, using hacks may be the easiest method for most players. All of us work hard each week, constantly modifying code and dealing around update patches, to be able to bring you the highest quality [edit] hackers available.

I see. Well, your grammar is relatively coherent! Congratulations! The next time I need to hack the Smoky Mountains, I… wait. What? 

Nevermind. Bot two, you and bot three commented on Ominous Endings, I see. What did you think of it?

Helpful Bot: I must say, as a lot as I enjoyed reading what you had to say, I couldnt assist but shed interest after a even though. Its as if you had a wonderful grasp on the subject matter.

Well, I am glad it is as if I have a wonderful grasp of my own opinions. That is encouraging. I appreciate your assistance in, um… shed interest… is that a stock-venture?

Bot 3? Are you friends with bot 2? or did you just happen to comment on the same post?

Incoherent Bot: Average In turn sends provides will be the frequent systems that offer the opportunity for one’s how does a person pick-up biological, overdue drivers, what one mechanically increases the business. Search Engine Marketing

Ah. Now where did I put my biological overdue drivers what I mechanically increase the business?

Onwards. Bot four, you commented on Cue Music, I believe. What did you think of it?

Encouraging Bot: You can certainly see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. Always follow your heart.

I see. Your specificity and thoughtful critique really convince me that you are a real person, and I am going to click on your commercial website! Perhaps you are selling hopeful arenas, which sound disturbing if you ask me.

Bot five! I see you posted on Motley Crew. What have you to say?

Critical Bot: naturally like your website however you have to take a look at the spelling on several of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it very troublesome to tell the truth then again I will certainly come again again.

Can’t… reply… laughing too hard!


Critical bot and friends

This photo belongs to the user Khaki on stockvault.net

I have gotten a few more “interesting” spam posts lately. I decided it was time to share.

“Its like you learn my thoughts! You seem to know so much about this, such as you wrote the e book in it or something. I believe that you simply can do with a few percent to pressure the message house a bit, however other than that, this is wonderful blog. A great read. I’ll definitely be back.”

Um… thank you for this “constructive” criticism, Critical Bot. Now if I can just figure out what “a few percent to pressure the message house” means. 

“Hey very cool website!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Wonderful .. I will bookmark your site and take the feeds additionally?I am satisfied to find so many useful information right here in the publish, we want develop more strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .”

Dear Confused, Hungry Bot. I am not a guy and I have no intention of feeding spam-bots.

“Outstanding post, I conceive individuals ought to larn a great deal from this web website its truly user genial . 744494”

“Larn?” I’ll larn you to mock my heritage, Mockingbot! Now where’s my scimitar got to…

P.S.
I just got this on my post “Shout Out”

“Another great website about this stuff you can find over here sexdate!!! Let me know what you think about this blog and i’ll subscribe to your blog!”

Um… bot, I think you were reading someone else’s post and got very, VERY confused. As a side note, subscriptions to my blog are not as important to me as you seem to think…


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